Raw & Human - Not a pity party, more of an inventory of things.
Raw and Human…
I just saw the words “raw and human” in a post I was reading.
It made me stop and hold my breath for a moment and think... ahhh... yes... this is what I am feeling.
Raw on many levels, for so many reasons I understand, but harder for me to have compassion for that “human” part in me, the part that is having moments of soul tired. COME ON SUPERPOWERS DON'T FAIL ME NOW!!!
Even in the rawness that February typically brings, I was still busily being disappointed with myself for what I think I am NOT doing… so I sat quietly for a couple of minutes and consciously looked at the last couple of years.
Not a pity party, more of an inventory of things. The things...
Two years ago my Dad died, followed by months of cross-border estate stuff. My husband has had some serious health issues, surgeries, long recoveries.. a new hip... a new ankle…
I made the emotional, scary, hard decision to leave my teaching career. (read jump... Bobbie style... no net)
A trek in Nepal I had trained for, planned for, got the damn shots for... and looked so forward to was cancelled.
My Mom was hospitalized and very seriously ill... 2 plus months of mostly living in Medicine Hat... cue the decision to move her from Medicine Hat to Nanton and all of the emotions and organizing that go with a move like that.
Boom… we decided to buy a building and start a brick and mortar business in Nanton... we took possession of the building and opened the store within a month. ( again read jump Bobbie style... and thank you ADHD superpowers) AND... oh yeah... fucking covid!
... and menopause... my jeans are getting smaller in the closet :) ... and these are just some of the highlights.
Phew… In the words of Oprah “What I know for sure” in this moment is that I am allowed to have the occasional “human” day of just plain tired...we all are. We all have lives filled with the “stuff’...the “raw”.
We are allowed to be divinely human...have love and compassion for our own and other people's humanness. (don’t worry I know humanness is not a word) Taking another breath…
Peace Bobbie xxx