... just a real share…
During my workout this morning I was beating myself up with my thoughts. This isn’t a new thing for me...it seems like I have done it all my life...it is probably my personal biggest struggle, the thing that continually pops its head up when I think I have done the work and conquered it.
I also know that this is a hard time of year for me so it is triggered more easily...then add the reality that I have gained some weight and BAM my self-talk is hateful and full of self-recrimination. I lose the ability to see the good, the strength... the accomplishments...
Then I beat myself up even more because if I heard anyone talk about someone else or themselves the way I talk to myself I would be shocked and sad.
This isn’t a new topic for me to write about because it does continually pop up in my life...a cyclical thing.
I realized this morning as I was berating myself that even when I am down in weight and feeling more fit... more “in my body and soul” I still have times like this.
SOOO...when I feel like I feel/look good I beat myself up too.
Pretty crazy! It is like the memes that are out there that say something like “I wish I was as fat as I thought I was in high school”...the inability to recognize and really SEE our strength and beauty at any point in our lives, putting continual pressure on ourselves to be “better” when we are amazing as we are.
I know the key to all of this is being able to recognize, accept, listen and dive in to keep doing the inner work... some things are just a continual journey and you need to step in for yourself.
Back to the inner work I go...
Peace & hugs